• Lymphatic Therapy Centre

Gym shy...

Updated: May 18, 2019

I have a gym membership. Who doesn’t right? Do I use my gym membership? Occasionally, most often when it’s cold outside and I need my 3 year old to get out and have a change of scenery. Then we sit in the chaotic play area.... together. Because of course she won’t stay in that terrifying (but fun filled when mom is there) place! When I do venture in alone, I am like a deer in headlights. It’s a similar feeling you get when passing through a road block and the traffic officer locks eyes with you for a few seconds. You KNOW you have done nothing wrong but maybe you have? Maybe there is something you DON‘T know about that you HAVE done. You feel a lump in your throat, your breath quickens and your heart starts racing. But you can’t show fear, you can’t look away! If you do, you might be pulled over and questioned!! So you calmly, nonchalantly burn a hole into that traffic officer‘s skull with an intense (but not over the top guilty) glance as you drive by.

Well that’s how I feel when I make my way through the revolving door and into the gym. I mean that door alone is nerve wracking. How fast do you need to walk, make sure you squish your bag so it doesn’t touch the glass and bring the door to a complete hault while you are trying to look cool. Meanwhile now that it’s jammed to a stop, you keep walking, trip and smear your face on the glass. With all of the gorgeous, fit and young gym bunnies staring down at you from the treadmills. Yeah, that’s happened to me.

Okay, so you make it through the door and greet the friendly staff. Try not be too noticeable so they don’t secretly laugh at you when you only work out for 30minutes. Because in your mind, they keep track of everyone’s times and will notice if you are slacking. Now to find the safest piece of equipment and the quietest corner. Head over to the treadmill. When last did you use this thing? The controls seem to have changed. Instead of the nice toggle, it’s now buttons to manage speed. Anyway, you figure it out and you are now walking. Obviously, it’s time to show everyone around you, who in reality hasn’t actually acknowledged your existence, how fit and strong you are, so you crank up the speed using the new, at least to you, buttons. Are these things working? Nothing seems to be happen...... @&#* The buttons have a bit of a lag and your treadmill is now at supersonic speed. Trying frantically to decrease the speed, your arm catches your earphone cord, flings your phone onto the treadmill belt and you proceed to crush your phone and flick it at the treadmill behind you. The gym master behind you now has a hematoma on his knee from the runaway phone. Yes, this too happened to me. You apologize and slink off to the change rooms where you spend about an hour showering and getting dressed, in hopes the gym master has left and extendimg your time spent in the gym so the staff at the entrance don’t judge you for your 5minutes treadmill ordeal.

I am really like a fish out of water in a gym setting so these days tend to stick to the pool. A place where things are simple and no degree in higher technology is needed. But if you are going to swim, it is of the utmost importance to pick the right gym. I have, in all honesty, been to a gym where you have to walk through the restaurant, through the treadmills and the bikes to get to the pool??? Clearly nobody is body conscious in that area of the world. Perhaps just not the right gym for me! I prefer my exercise regime on my daughters trampoline, walking with weights and my resistance band training In the garden. At least if I let go by mistake it shoots off into the trees and doesn’t injure anyone else. I don’t have that ”keep cool idiot” kind of feeling when I walk into my home. Motivation is a challenge as I would prefer to be cooking or playing at home but I’ll get there.

Because of these down right embarrassing experiences at the gym, where everyone else always seems to be a professional gymer, LTC has created a safe, simple but guided gym/therapy space for our clients. We are offering several packages that include lymph drainage sessions, personalized and focused training sessions, relaxation and stress management as well as independent sessions where you can continue with your programme on your own. We have no revolving doors, I promise! So your face is safe with us.

Give us a call to find out more. We look forward to meeting you.


LTC ladies.

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